Nikita Fernandes, MHC-LP - Psychotherapist and Sex Therapist
In this conversation, Michelle Renee and Nikita Fernandes discuss their connection in the therapy world and their passion for sexual healing. They explore the importance of platonic intimacy, body image work, and the power of touch. They also share their go-to outfits for a booty call and the things they love to receive but have a hard time asking for. The conversation ends with a discussion about the hottest things someone has said in bed. In this conversation, Michelle and Nikita discuss various topics related to sexuality and sexual health. They talk about the importance of communication and making noise during sexual encounters, as well as the significance of self-pleasure and self-care. They also touch on the stigma surrounding herpes and the need for education and support for individuals with STIs. Nikita shares her upcoming projects, including becoming a licensed therapist and speaking at a conference on sexual health and mental health. Michelle discusses Soft Cock Week and her upcoming TV appearance. They emphasize the importance of body positivity and acceptance in sexual relationships.
Takeaways
Platonic intimacy is essential for rekindling sexual intimacy in relationships.
Body image work and exploring non-genital zones can be incredibly erotic.
It's important to communicate and ask for what you want in bed.
Vocalization and affirmative consent can enhance sexual experiences.
Being naked in public can help overcome body image issues.
Touching and exploring different pleasure points can build anticipation and desire. Communication and making noise during sexual encounters can enhance pleasure and indicate enjoyment.
Self-pleasure and self-care are important aspects of sexual well-being.
There is a need for education and support for individuals with STIs, particularly in reducing the stigma surrounding herpes.
The conference on sexual health and mental health provides a platform for discussing the impact of STIs on mental well-being and promoting education and awareness.
Body positivity and acceptance are crucial in fostering healthy sexual relationships.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) a Mental Health Therapist-LP and Sex Therapist based in New York City. She can be found at https://healingwithnikita.com or email at nikita@texgibson.com.
Michelle Renee (she/her) is a San Diego-based Intimacy Guide and Surrogate Partner. Michelle's website is https://meetmichellerenee.com and can be found on social media at @meetmichellerenee.
If you’d like to ask a question, for Michelle to answer on an episode, click here.
To grab your own set of We’re Not Really Strangers, click here.
Links from today's episode:
https://www.briangibney.org/
https://www.surrogatepartnercollective.org/
https://humanconnectioncoach.com/resources
Asexuality episode: https://www.meetmichellerenee.com/episode/7
Spoon Theory: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spoon_theory
We’re Not Really Strangers XXX Adult Edition: https://amzn.to/44e7XXY
Naked with Strangers Article: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-myths-sex/202102/spending-time-naked-strangers-can-improve-body-image
Something Positive for Positive People: https://www.spfpp.org/
Something Positive for Positive People Safe Sex Expo: https://www.spfpp.org/offerings/p/safe-sex-expo
STI Risk Chart: https://www.sfcityclinic.org/patient-education-resources/std-risk-chart
Sex Sells on FuseTV, Season 3 - Episode 5: https://amzn.to/3JA8Twt
Rough Transcript:
Michelle Renee (she/her) (00:01.196)
Welcome back to the Intimacy Lab. I'm excited. I have a guest today that we just kind of like met very I wouldn't say I mean, I guess it was just kind of not happenstance per se, but we keep we stay connected and I just like when that happens. So I'm joined today by Nikita Fernandes, who I'll let introduce herself, but she's a therapist in New York. That's how I know her at least, and she can get into the more details of that. But
It was like August of 2022. Yes, I have to do a little calendar math. My work husband, Brian Gibney and I were in New York City to record for the Guys We Fuck podcast. And I don't let any opportunity go like squeeze all the juice out of it. So we scheduled like a coffee little meet and greet for.
the New York therapy community to come meet some surrogates and chat us up. And Nikita showed up and like hung with us the whole time. And it was, it's just always nice when we have people in the talk therapy world that are like, I need to know more about this work. And Nikita has just turned into a huge fan and we would just really appreciate it. Cause there's just, I mean, I remember you wrote like an article about it.
Like you didn't just like, oh my gosh, I love your work, but you're like, no, how do I do this? And you ask questions on like the ASAP listserve of how do I find a surrogate in New York City? Like you're really engaged with that. And I super, super appreciate it. So Nikita, can you give us like a little intro as who you are?
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (01:41.986)
Yeah, absolutely Michelle. I think, well, first of all, I think it was like a serendipitous moment that we met because...
I remember being still like earlier on in my career. I just like graduated two months before and started down the sex therapy path. So it was just such a beautiful experience to like be able to meet you and Brian. And we definitely, I definitely learned so much from you both. And so I'm so happy that the stars aligned we met.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (02:17.22)
Well, we definitely love talking about our work. So it's like when we have an audience, you can't shut us up. So.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (02:25.671)
And it's such important work. So, but just to introduce myself, my name is Nikita Fernandes and I use she, her, her pronouns. I'm a psychotherapist and sex therapist located in New York City.
So I work at a private practice where I typically see a lot of like poly, kinky, queer, POC clients. I'm also an immigrant myself from India. So I do get a large like immigrant community and people navigating different cultural spaces. And so it is like really special work to me. I think.
I know that most people have their jobs to get paid and then live their life, but for me this work is like my calling, it's my reason for being in many ways, and I think that I bring a lot of myself to the work. And so I'll never forget when I met you and Brian, Michelle, and Brian told this beautiful story of how he was called to be.
a sexual healer and I think that just really stuck with me and I see myself as a sexual healer because I do, I think that like our sex life and like just the right to sexual pleasure is a social justice issue and so being able to help people like find that and find comfort in themselves and their bodies is so important and that's where I love it.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (03:53.776)
Yeah, we have that in common. I think that's, I think we do very much connect in the not just like, oh, we are professionals in the sex world. But this like, it's kind of like who you move through the world as, right? I think that's what we have in common is it's like it doesn't not touch every part of our being.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (04:17.994)
Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. There.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (04:19.4)
Yeah. Well, I got, I was fortunate enough to get to reconnect with you at AASECT the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists Conference, which was on the other side, like other side of the country from you. So it's fun that I got to see you on the East Coast and the West Coast and have you in that space again was, it's just like, I love familiar, you know, and you're, you're a familiar. And so that always feels really.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (04:33.527)
Yeah.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (04:36.967)
in the end.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (04:42.89)
Yes.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (04:47.69)
Yeah, I still remember running into you and Brian and congratulations on the talk that you both gave. I think that more people.
like need to find out about like surrogate partners because I think that it is the future of sexual healing mostly because we see like in western cultures we see people as individuals in a vacuum but I think that's where like surrogate partners come in and they're like no we're here to like help you heal relationally and that's something that has been left out of like western healing so
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (05:27.853)
It has been lacking prior to like everything happening in the field.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (05:35.772)
Yeah, I love the work that I do. I'm always trying to figure out what parts of the work with myself as a person, like as an individual. And I'll say, I keep talking about this on here, I'm really focusing these days on not doing the erotic side of the work. It's just becoming the part of the work that I...
feel like is work and I don't like to feel that way. I've been like discovering my own asexuality. I've been like all these, it's interesting as I've worked through a lot of the trauma in my history, I get to pull those things out of the equation and start to go who am I? Right? Without these things kind of clouding things and I, sex is something, I am a sex favorable asexual.
But when you only have so many sexual spoons, it's hard to say, I want to spend these spoons on my clients. And the meat and potatoes of the work does not need to be the erotic component. You saw the presentation at AASECT, and we really got to highlight a case that we never even got naked. And I think body image is such an amazing part of the work.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (06:42.158)
COVID.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (07:00.2)
Oh, absolutely.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (07:01.008)
And this client didn't need it, but like, I want to, I want to gush. And I think this client will be completely okay. And I won't give any identifying details away, but I had a client come into San Diego this week to do a couple of longer sessions with me. She's from the East coast and we had worked together very minimally. She's not like a regular client. She works with a cuddler on the East coast. Did a lot of work through professional cuddling has an amazing.
wonderful, open-minded therapist who got really excited to meet me. And she got to come out this week and we did so much body image work. Both of those sessions were spent primarily in the nude. And it's to be even just cuddled in the nude. To have her body be seen and to see my body were first for her, right? And today we're gonna go do a little field trip.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (07:48.864)
Yeah.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (07:58.452)
to the Korean spa as like a next step to being like naked in public. Like it was kind of like we could do the Korean spa or we could go to a nudist resort together. The Korean spa was a little more contained, like a little more controlled audience. And so we decided to do that. But it's like these little things that I get to witness and experience with the client is just amazing. And it's such a high in so many ways.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (08:27.63)
That's so special.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (08:30.596)
It is and her therapist is just like, this is amazing. Wrote me a really lovely email after the first day. And I was like, oh, I wish I could just like share this email with the world and I can't but it doesn't mean I won't go back and reread it on occasion when I just need a little boost. Because I think the part that really hit me the most was she said, you've clearly had to do a lot of work on yourself.
to be able to do this with the clients. And it felt so seen and validated for all the work that I have put into working on myself so that I can show up better.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (09:10.786)
Yeah, that makes me really emotional. That's, I think it's really beautiful.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (09:14.552)
Oh, and let me just, this client does such amazing work. Like she shares with me what she's doing to work through her stuff and I'm crying, right? In session, she's not crying anymore about this. And I'm like got tears running down my face because it's just like, oh, I'm just, I work with some bad-ass people. You know, they're taking huge leaps.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (09:36.843)
Yeah.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (09:41.189)
in service to themselves and I just get to be one of the leaps and that is so fucking cool. Yeah.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (09:46.038)
Yeah, yeah, I think a large part of this work is like as much as we help our clients, they also inspire us and like, connect us with our own humanity, which you know, sometimes gets lost along the way in this crazy world and so.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (09:55.234)
Mm-hmm.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (10:03.876)
One of the things I've had to learn on that side is not like the dual relationship thing. I had one of my first female cuddle clients. It took years to get a female cuddle client and she shows up and she's just, again, another badass that's doing her work, right? And I got fangirly and was like, I wish you'd go to dinner and I wanna hear more. And I quickly realized that it didn't.
It doesn't work very well because it's still a very...
imbalanced relationship, because I'm not really growing through the client as a friend, right? And so I learned my lesson there that I have to keep that kind of like, it's cool to want to be like a fangirl of my client, but I can't have the dual relationship component.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (10:44.825)
Yes.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (10:55.174)
Yeah, I so feel that. Absolutely, sometimes I'm just like, I wanna get to know my clients as people because they're lovely and I wanna be their friend. But then it's like, no, because we have to think about like the power dynamics in the space and in the relationship and all of that. But it's still special that we get to be a part of their journey in some way.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (11:11.037)
Mm-hmm.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (11:18.684)
Oh, absolutely. It's just keeping it contained, right? And I had to learn that myself and I had to kind of go over that with a client recently about why that just doesn't work. So yeah.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (11:26.914)
Thank you guys.
Absolutely. I know you had also mentioned a little bit before we started talking about this, like about like your own like identity coming into your asexual identity and um I actually had a chance to listen to the recording that you did with Aubri and I just want to shout her out. She's phenomenal and I'm really happy that you know the two of you were able to have an episode out there because I think a misconception in this work is like almost like this hypersexual
Michelle Renee (she/her) (11:46.353)
Yeah.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (11:59.28)
sexualization of professionals in this field, which isn't the case because eroticism is not just about sex. It's about intimacy. It's about connection and so many times that is platonic and I think that's where people have a really hard time like sitting with that because we just hyper sexualize everything.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (12:21.252)
Yeah. And I think that spills over into relationships, too, though, is like what we expect out of relationships. Right. And when people come to us and how do I, you know, rekindle the sex in my relationship? Like, well, what's the platonic intimacy like in your relationship? Can we start with that foundation first? Because I know for me, it's imperative for me to get that bucket filled before I can have the sexual bucket filled.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (12:47.542)
Absolutely. In the past when I've done like work with couples around things like Sensate Focus I know that a lot of folks...
what they enjoy is sex being off the table and still being able to engage in touch that's non-sexual and that is ultimately what builds that like closeness and it's not even necessarily an eroticism it's just like this um this like romanticism of like this feels very romantic for us to be together um and I like I think that's just so powerful is rekindling that
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (13:27.408)
together for a long time can like fade for whatever reason. And a lot of the times it's because that platonic touch goes away.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (13:36.548)
Yeah, sometimes the only time they're getting touched is when it's with intention to move it to erotic, and it just starts to feel like an obligation or an expectation. And expectations are my number one boner killer. Like, I had my first marriage was heavy in sexual coercion. We didn't know that's what it was at the time. And I think a lot of it for my ex-husband was just societal messaging of what a relationship is supposed to look like, what my job is or what my...
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (13:50.764)
Yeah.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (14:05.44)
contribution. I decided at some point my contribution to the relationship was sex. As in like I was a stay-at-home mom, I'm not providing financial to the family. I'll provide the sex so that my husband is a happier person. Which looking back was so not helpful. It was not helpful to me. It may have been a band-aid for him but it didn't actually lead to stronger connection. It just led to a lot of
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (14:12.237)
Yeah.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (14:35.092)
and a killing of my sex drive and all these, like it wasn't gonna make it better. You know, it wasn't the solution. It was this really a short-sighted, like, yeah, band-aid, just yuck, yuck. And so I like to talk about like, you want to re-engage sexually with your partner, you've gotta give them space. You've got to let them know you really like them as a person and want to spend time with them, even if it's not.
sexual time.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (15:06.242)
Yes, absolutely. And I think just in like our modern day and age when we're so busy like working and doing other things, oftentimes the times that we spent with our partner end up being sexual. And then there's just like that idea of, okay, I'm only around because my partner like gets something sexually from me or that is essentially what's keeping our connection.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (15:35.212)
And that can be true and it could be false, right? It could be that just happens to be what you both really like doing together, right? And that's okay. But if there's somebody that's not communicating that fear that that's all they're there for, or would this person spend time with me even if I was a no to this? Am I willing to find out? I had a couple I was working with. I don't work with couples very often. But they were going through some desire discrepancy stuff and they're a lovely couple. They've come.
me for lots of different things over the years. And what I love about them is they work from home, both of them, and they've decided to take like a half hour of their lunch break every day to just cuddle.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (16:15.346)
I love that so much.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (16:17.506)
And it helped rekindle the sexual intimacy by having that 30 minutes of just time together, just platonic time together with that physical connection.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (16:29.41)
Yeah, that's incredible. It's magical.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (16:33.6)
Yeah, so start there people, if you're listening to this going, Michelle's going to teach us about sex because it's called the intimacy lab. I always say like so much more than sex, but we are sex geeks and we love to talk about sex. So for our We're Not Really Strangers today, Nikita is a fan of We're Not Really Strangers. And I was like, I have all these expansion packs and she was like, Oh, do you have the sex one? And I was like, Oh, I've not opened this one yet.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (16:40.194)
Hahaha. Indeed.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (17:02.824)
So I'm so like stoked that you want to answer these with me. So I think this might be, how much time do you have today? Do you have a hard stop?
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (17:16.316)
I don't have a hard stop for at least another hour.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (17:20.864)
Okay, I just want to make sure, because these are good, we might do a few, if you're cool with that. Okay, I'm just going to, I'm randomly picking one, and so, wild cards, I avoid those. I don't know how you feel about them in general, playing this game.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (17:25.778)
Absolutely. I'm happy to be here.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (17:37.916)
The wild cards? Yeah, I like that they're interactive, but sometimes I just want to talk and answer questions.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (17:47.164)
Yeah, I did them one time in a session and I was like, I'm never doing wild cards in a session again. They're just too, I think I had to make up a song about my client, like it was just weird. Anyways.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (17:53.038)
Thanks for watching!
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (17:58.887)
I'm sorry.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (18:01.092)
Okay, question one. What's your go-to outfit when you're going to a booty call?
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (18:10.722)
Oh, I love that question.
I often dress the way I want to feel and for me, like, lingerie is always this really powerful thing. Like, I know some people, you know, put on lingerie for their partners and for me, it's like a little bit for my partners, but mostly for myself because I feel really powerful in it. And so red is like one of my power colors. So red, something that's red with lingerie and
Probably because it's like winter in New York right now, just like a coat over that.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (18:50.056)
You'll do like the whole like, you don't know what's underneath here. I could see you doing that. I am quite the opposite. I am such a low key like, like when I go to like a sex party, I'm like, could we just get to the naked part? I don't want to have to pick out clothes. Like I'm just, it's not my jam. So for me, like, um, my outfit when you're going to a booty call, which has been a long time.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (18:53.094)
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (19:07.502)
I'm sorry.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (19:17.356)
I'm like always in like really casual clothes. It's more so, it's probably similar to any other place where I know I'm gonna get naked is like something easy to throw back on. And like almost like the version of like a muumuu of like a dress that I can just slip on and not have to like, it's easy. It's easy on, easy off. And I'm more so about what am I packing for the booty call, right? Like...
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (19:29.495)
Yeah.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (19:45.252)
I gotta make sure I got my little sex bag with me that's got a variety of condoms and lubricant and gloves and like the basics, like do I need to bring a vibrator? Are there any other toys I wanna bring with me? Like what's the plan today? That's probably more important to me than like what I'm wearing.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (20:06.89)
Yes, that makes a lot of sense. I definitely love being naked. Like most, if I could live my life naked without clothes, I would 100%, so hard agree.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (20:19.26)
Yeah, there's an article in Psychology Today. I saved it. It's, I should go find it and put it in the show notes, but it talks about one of the best ways to get over body image issues is to be naked in public. Because I think people have this idea of like the nudist culture and things like that, that they're all these just beautiful people and my body's not perfect and I can't be in that space. It's like, that's not.
That's not how it goes. So if you ever come to San Diego, we'll have to go down to Blacks Beach, which is the nude beach here in San Diego.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (20:54.258)
I would love that so much. There's a new.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (20:56.036)
You come out and I have this room for you. You can sleep in my cuddle space.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (20:59.678)
I'm gonna take you up on that and be there, Michelle. Yes. Oh my gosh, yes, and I love the West. Yes.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (21:02.56)
That'd be awesome. It's fun living in a destination city. Well, you know, you're in New York, so you get the same thing, I'm sure. Like people come through town all the time and you're like, yay. Yeah, it's cool. All right, you ready for another one? Okay, let me quit drawing the wild cards and we'll be good. Okay. What do you hate to ask for, but love to receive?
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (21:14.936)
Yes.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (21:18.57)
I'm ready.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (21:32.664)
I know what mine is. This is gonna be very TMI. What'd you say? Okay. So let me preface this to say that this client that was in town this week.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (21:34.091)
I'd love to hear it.
I would love to hear yours first.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (21:50.1)
think late 50s, not had a real intense, like expansive sexual history, intense sexual history, but not from a great place, but doesn't have a lot of like experience around like the sex positive world. So like, every time I open my mouth and talk about something in my space, she's like, what does that mean? What is pegging? Like, you know,
So I blew her mind with analingus the other day, not doing analingus, but exposing her to the idea of it. So I didn't always love receiving it, but that's shifted lately and I never ask for it. So if my husband listens to this, he might get some ideas or permission if I ever turned him off to the idea. We've never really revisited it.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (22:20.883)
Let's go.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (22:45.472)
But I like receiving it. Maybe it's I like receiving it because it's something I didn't ask for. It's a mind thing of like, oh, he's so into going down on me right now that he's going to go down on all of me.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (23:01.846)
Yes, definitely. And I love that our body has so many different pleasure points that sometimes we only focus, only focusing on like the chest and like, like the front genitals. You know, we have so many more exploration points to explore, so I love, I love that. Very similarly to you, I think something that I have a hard time asking for is,
Michelle Renee (she/her) (23:19.506)
Yeah.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (23:31.818)
like having partners focus on other parts of my body that aren't just the genitals or the chest. So having like erotic like touch on like my neck or like my arm my legs like really just staying on like the non-genital zones I think can be incredibly erotic. But I feel like
we watch a lot of porn and because of that, our mind is like sex, like let's just jump to penetration. And so I have a hard time asking for people to just slow down with me and like, like let's touch the arms and that's something that.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (24:11.688)
build up, like build up the longing, right?
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (24:15.938)
build up belonging, stay in like the somatic experience of it all, rather than just jumping to like getting your pleasure met or like getting that fulfilled.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (24:28.392)
Yeah, I am. There's a thing that Paul and I do sometimes, it's not a spoken like we're not like, Oh, this is what we're gonna do today. But once in a while, we'll kind of get in this groove where we're like, say we're 69ing. And we will match each other's touch. So it's almost like you're controlling the other through how you're touching them, that we kind of mimic each other back and forth sometimes. And we did it recently, whereas like neither one of us were like doing any form of penetration. Like
It was like to the tease of like, oh, like if your fingers enter me, I swear to God, I'm going to explode kind of feeling. Right. And I like to play with assholes. So it is very much something we can match each other with. So it was like he's just touching the outside of my vulva. So I'm just touching the outside of his anus and like this kind of mimicking back and forth. But we didn't ever say it verbally. It was just this. I see what you're doing here. Yeah.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (25:24.63)
This is scary. Yeah, you were married.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (25:28.868)
And it got to, it gets to draw it way out, right? Like it is really like, it's this conflict of like this drawing out and teasing is feeling so good, but also this other thing would feel so good. But I know that like neither one of us are going to like hold back on the orgasms and like, it's gonna end faster if we give in to our inner 13 year old, right?
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (25:46.839)
Hehehe
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (25:59.724)
Right.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (26:00.46)
Yeah, yeah. So, okay, let's do one more. And then, and then I want to talk about what you're up to these days. Okay. What's the hottest thing someone has ever said to you in bed? I got to think about this one for a second.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (26:19.854)
I think the hottest thing that someone has ever said to me was, like, I love your moans and, like, the vocal sounds you make because I'm a very vocal person, like, generally, but also in bed. And I'm very big on...
this idea of like affirmative consent rather than my partner having to be like, hey, did that feel okay? How was that? Like, I'm very much like, I'm gonna keep telling you it feels good so you don't have to guess. And so it can be very like vocal about that in a way that feels good to me. And sometimes it almost feels like I'm like singing and it's beautiful. And I love when my partner is able to like acknowledge that and say like, I love the way you breathe.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (26:53.992)
Yes.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (27:10.7)
I love the way you sound because I'm a very sensory person so getting lost in the senses is extremely erotic to me and so that has to be one of my favorite compliments.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (27:27.06)
I, one of the things I tell new lovers is like, I'm gonna make lots of different noises because I am also a little noise person. If I'm not making noise, that's when you should wonder if I'm enjoying it. Because some of my noises are confusing. I just gotta throw that out there, right? So I'm like, a noise is good. It doesn't matter. Unless I'm saying like, nope, that's it, I'm done. That doesn't work for me anymore.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (27:41.57)
Yeah.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (27:45.614)
Thanks for watching!
Michelle Renee (she/her) (27:52.912)
If I'm making some kind of noise, it's probably, but even like in a platonic space, I'm one to make little noises and I have this new client.
there was a day she goes, what is that noise you make a lot? And I'm like, we figured out it was just kind of this, hmm, like it's an affirmative, like, hmm, this is yummy kind of thing. And so I have in my bathroom, my bathroom mirror, one day I was working through my own shit and I wrote with like dry erase marker, I deserve pleasure in like all caps across my mirror. And I left it there because I thought my clients might really appreciate seeing that.
And then another client was in there washing their hands or using the bathroom. And and he added, I deserve hope. And then this woman was in there and she's like, she comes out. Well, the first time we worked together, she left me a couple of puzzle pieces on the on the mirror because we had this kind of like aha moment at the end of the session where she was realizing she was putting some not only puzzle pieces together of her story and how things link up, but.
Also, we were talking about her doing a puzzle because we were like, how do we connect with our inner children? Right. And one of the things she used to do as a kid was puzzles. And so she wrote some puzzles. She drew some puzzles. And when she asked me about the sound I made, so she went in and she wrote on my mirror just as like a reminder of that conversation. And yeah, it's super cool. My answer, I mean, although that is one of the hottest thing
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (29:21.07)
We love that.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (29:30.312)
who for his lack of sexual experience, like he did this thing, he was going down on me and he comes up and he goes, God, I just love the way you smell. And I was like, dude, that will get you laid all day long, because if you understood how much societal messaging there is and how self-conscious most vulva owners are.
Right? I think he would also say, like, I love the way you taste. Those two things interchangeable for me. Right? Like that will go so far to just like, relaxing your nervous system and letting you be much more present. Cause that's, those thoughts get in the way of so many people's pleasures. Like, if you're worried about how your vulva looks, tastes, smells.
you're not gonna be able to be present. It's a total block. So that's like, that would be, that's my answer. Yeah.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (30:41.795)
I'm definitely a smell person so I'll usually tell my partners like I love the way you smell.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (30:49.344)
Hmm. Yeah. Well, that was fun. Thank you for diving into the sexy cards. I hope more people I haven't offered it, honestly, to anybody yet. But looking at who's coming on the show in upcoming days, I'm thinking my friend Ruby Ryder I don't know if you know her know of her work. She does a pegging podcast. She's like the queen of pegging, and she is like my
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (30:52.706)
I was really fun.
Yeah.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (31:14.478)
That's so cool. I'll have to...
Michelle Renee (she/her) (31:19.028)
best friend and also like surrogate mother. Like if my mother could have been like a cool sex positive sex worker, like fairy godmother, that is this woman. She is amazing. And I bet you she'll want to play this.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (31:38.26)
Thanks for breaking that one open. What are you doing these days? What do you have in the mix that you wanna talk about? Cause I know that you've got some stuff going on and I can't wait to have this conversation.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (31:40.654)
So.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (31:52.702)
Yes, yeah, this is a very exciting year for me. There's a lot of stuff coming up, but I think the biggest one, couple of the biggest ones are, I'm finally going to be licensed as a therapist. And so I'm just so ready to have, you know, that licensure and feel somewhat independent and good about.
that and then also be able to take on like supervisees because the world needs more sex positive therapists and so very excited about teaching other folks what I've learned. The other big one is I'm going to actually be speaking at a conference in May and so I would love you know for like people to come to that.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (32:31.198)
Yes.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (32:51.008)
The organization putting on the conference is called Something Positive for Positive People.
And the person that runs it, Courtney Brame, he does phenomenal job on advocating for people that have herpes and educating people about the stigma. He does like support groups. He has his own podcast, which is really informative and incredible. And so he is putting on like the first of its kind, this herpes themed conference that will be geared towards like healthcare professionals.
people in the like bodywork industry as well to come learn about how to best support clients with herpes.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (33:35.752)
That's wonderful.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (33:37.398)
Yes, I am very excited about it. The theme of the conference is sexual health is mental health, which is a very important topic. And it's also the name of the speech that I'm gonna be giving at the conference just around this idea of how we've completely neglected sexual health and how a lot of folks that have like chronic STIs are like suffering from like the lack of education, having to educate people themselves.
the toll it's taking on people's mental health. I myself have genital herpes and I work with clients as well, so I'll be speaking from not only my own lived experience, but how that shows up relationally in working with clients that also have herpes.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (34:25.104)
Yeah, what is it they say? The worst part of HSV is the stigma, the social ramifications of it. We have not talked about this. I came up against this for the first time after my divorce. I got involved in the BDSM community and I also was, I had a blog at the time which
is no longer living on the internet because I had a friend hosting it and he changed host and didn't take my blog with him. But thankfully I had a downloaded copy of it. So I'm going to put it into like a PDF to make it available because it was kind of like a live diary of my exploration into kink and poly and all this stuff. And it was a lot of blogging about body image work that I was doing. And I've just had a lot of clients and people read it over the years that
And there's a section in there on herpes. And I was, I showed up at a party one day, a BDSM party, and I walked in. This is the only time I think I've ever experienced sexual attraction. I walked in and there was this beautiful man. I love bald men. He has this older, beautiful bald man, and he's buck naked with his dick on a leash. And I just...
Like it was like this, it was the most uncomfortable feeling because again, I don't think I've ever felt this any other time. So I was very scared by the feelings that I had happening in my body. And I was like, holy shit, I think I'm going home with this man tonight. Like that was the thing in my head. I was like, no, I have my kids this weekend. I have to get home. Like, you know, it was just, it was this interesting immediate like push-pull. And so I did not go home with him.
A girlfriend came up to me at some point and said, hey, would you like to go get out of here and go shoot pool somewhere? And I was like, yes, get me out of here. Cause I was afraid of this. I've never, and I do, I was doing lots of one night stands at that time. I have no issue with going home with a stranger. It was this, like the attraction part was so foreign to me. And I didn't realize what that was until looking back at it now, talking to Aubri. Like Aubri did a lot of consultation with me to help me understand what was.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (36:46.468)
kind of going on for me. And so.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (36:52.448)
One of my friends is like, the next day is like, I saw you, you know, your interest in this guy, you should know, you should definitely go check his FetLife profile. There's some really important information there. And I was like, I know what you're saying. Like he was super cool. He was like, you know, owner of HSV. Like he was like, he really publicly led with that.
And so it left me in a place of like, God, I'm feeling the stigma and I didn't even play with him. So then I started to do research and I started to learn more about the lack of testing around it. In the end, it was really, really interesting. And the way that it informed me moving forward was the only people that actually know their status are people that have had an outbreak.
but how many people don't know their status. So my rule is to treat people like they do, don't assume they don't have it because they're not telling you. Just make decisions based on the assumption that if they do, how would you like engage with them the way that you would engage with people that do know their status, right? Like make informed decisions. We cannot have safe.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (37:50.222)
Exactly.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (38:09.003)
Yeah.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (38:14.744)
sex, we can have risk informed sex, right? And we need to know what our risks are for all sorts of different STIs, different forms of contact, what your risks are for those things. I'm going to drop a link into the notes. There's this list from someplace in San Francisco that I really love that
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (38:18.112)
I love them.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (38:22.514)
Exactly. There's a low risk.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (38:43.696)
forms of contact and what you're at risk for. And it's really, really interesting. It doesn't give you percentages or likelihoods or whatever, but if you do this, if it's oral sex with a vulva, you're at risk for this. If it's oral sex with a penis, as both the giver and the receiver, what your risks are. It's really, really good information.
And people should stop engaging in sexual contact with their head in the sand, right? And then act like they're this victim because they haven't done their education.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (39:14.798)
Yes, indeed. I so agree.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (39:22.006)
Yes. And I think that, like you mentioned, right, there's no safe sex. There's safer sex. But at the end of the day, like, and I understand I'm saying this as, you know, someone with privilege and a healthy body, but...
STIs like Chlamydia and Gonorrhea, they're essentially a little bit like colds that you know, you take a medication and they're gone. With herpes, so many folks have like herpes around their mouth and they get cold sores, but it's not the same stigma as like having genital herpes. People share drinks it all the time.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (39:58.137)
Yet they are essentially the same thing. Right, but we do put this extra stigma on it because of the...
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (40:02.722)
See ya.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (40:09.832)
means of contact or what we like the social stigmas around sex in general. Yeah, I did. I did do a test back when I was doing all that research. I went and paid for my own lab tests to be done just out of curiosity. I was in the stage of my life where I was very sexually active. I had just even hosted like a kissing party where like I had people it was like a second base party because I wasn't super comfortable with sex parties at the time.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (40:15.35)
Yes, indeed.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (40:38.44)
But I was like, I love making out with people. So it was like waist up kind of party. Like you could have contact from the waist up. And my goal was like to make out with every person at my party. I think I missed a couple of people. So I think it was like 15 people there and I probably hit 13 of them. Not only did I not even get a cold after that event, people are like, you're gonna get sick kissing all those people. It was just like weird. Like it's a low key slut shaming kind of thing, I think.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (40:49.523)
It's...
Michelle Renee (she/her) (41:06.568)
But I also was surprised, I went into that, taking that test going, I probably at least have the markers for either HSV-1 or 2. One is oral, right? Two is genital. And you can get one in the genitals and you can get two. It's so, this is why it's such bullshit. It's such bullshit. For whatever reason, I was surprised that I didn't come back with any markers. But it's one of these things that like,
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (41:20.172)
Yeah.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (41:24.322)
Nope. It's... ..exactly. Yeah.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (41:35.992)
I just, you got to go through the world just, would I, most people don't know their status. So you have to make decisions assuming that they don't know their status. It's not that they know that they don't have it. They just don't know if they do.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (41:50.826)
Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, I have HSV1 genitally, so, you know, not as common as like people usually having it around their mouth, but I think there's a part of me that's just accepted that.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (41:56.53)
Yeah.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (42:05.95)
you know, I want to be in these spaces and I'm accepting the risks of being in these spaces and I've also done the work around undoing some of that stigma for myself. So, but I know that other folks see differently and I want to respect that. But I think this conference will be great for many reasons. One of the biggest ones being like, you know, really starting to question critically, like who's benefiting from misinformation, who's benefiting from stigma and like
really thinking about what tools do we need to give our clients to be able to undo all of the sex negative, internalized stuff that they have going on, even around STIs.
I think it's going to be a powerful topic. And in addition to the talk I'm giving, something positive for positive people, which is the nonprofit. They do a survey every year where they collect data that people with HSV like fill out a survey, and then they compile all of these results. So I believe that this is the first year that they've had like one of the highest amount of like.
Results and so they're going to be talking about their findings at the conference so I really invite folks to like come and like, you know hear where we are right now with our Education undoing the stigma how people feel about themselves in their bodies. I think it's going to be really rich content
Michelle Renee (she/her) (43:39.724)
Is this, I assume it's online. I'm making an assumption. Yeah. I think this is, it's such a, the opportunity you give people to watch people talk about this with, with ease, right? You get to model the normalization of these conversations. It's, it's very similar to the feedback that I get around Soft Cock Week. In that you, like, you've made this so much easier to see myself being in a
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (43:41.482)
It's online. Yeah.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (44:10.232)
a emotionally relaxed space around this. Like it doesn't have to be this taboo topic. It doesn't have to be something I should carry shame for. Right? It's like you're liberating through your own liberation. All these other people, they just, they don't, so many people in the regular world, I say outside of our little sex positive bubbles, they,
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (44:14.53)
So, thank you.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (44:23.288)
Yes.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (44:37.046)
Thank you.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (44:37.98)
they get to experience what we get to experience on a regular basis, which is this normalization, neutrality around it. And it's not always like that. Like it, even in the professional world, it isn't normalized and neutralized as much as I wish it was. So thank you for being a part of that and being willing to like just stand up and say, I wanna talk about this. I wanna come on the podcast and talk about this. Like.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (44:45.848)
Yeah.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (45:07.733)
That's what we need, so I love you for that.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (45:11.086)
Thank you, Michelle. I appreciate you giving me the opportunity.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (45:15.388)
Yeah. I, who is it? You said it was created by, was his name Courtney? Yeah, I've just recently been connected with him for the West Coast Intimacy Professionals Group. I haven't got to meet him yet on a call, but I can't remember who connected us. But somebody, you know how our networks go. It's like these little webs of connection. Yeah. So one of these days, I'm sure soon we will actually meet on a Zoom call or something, but.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (45:20.878)
Courtney Brame
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (45:36.619)
connected.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (45:44.72)
I'm definitely gonna promote the conference because it sounds like it's just one of those, another one of those stigmatized areas that I wanna like kick the dust off of and like shine a beautiful ray of sunshine on it. Yeah. I joke about doing like a full-on penis appreciation month where we just appreciate the outliers, the smaller penises, the uncircumcised penises,
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (45:58.519)
Yeah.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (46:07.562)
Yes.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (46:11.31)
works.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (46:14.808)
Any of the stuff that people get really hung up around to just say, you all deserve love. Just like vulvas, all the vulvas are beautiful. All the penises are beautiful. It doesn't have to be one size fits all. And I have a. I have an upcoming TV appearance coming up that all by the time we'll have to make sure we get the dates so that this drops with plenty of time for.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (46:21.186)
Yeah.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (46:29.458)
No, it doesn't. I think.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (46:44.74)
all the registration and stuff for the conference. But later we're recording on January 6th, just for like reference as you're listening to this whenever it comes out. And I think it's January 24th, I have an episode of Sex Sells on Fuse TV coming out where I'm a sex expert because of my connection to soft cock week. I'm in a segment and it was super fun. And like,
lighthearted, but also like, I was kind of like, I was co facilitating a conversation with the host. And she's more of a comedian. And the three men that we were talking to are all comedians. And I'm kind of, I joke that I'm the heart of the conversation that I got to ask the more soft questions. And I hear the segment turn out really well. My, my
I can't control everything in the world. My unfortunate-ness of that episode is that part of that episode is also going to a doctor that does penis enhancements. I have feelings about that. I've decided to like, well, as I talk about this episode and my participation in it, I want to also give space to say, you don't need to change your dick.
You don't. And let's not forget there's risk on the other side of doing these things. I had a client that had never even had sex before. Went and had their penis lengthened and ended up with a permanent erectile dysfunction. And then proceeded to go the route of an implant, which is, you know, there's these things we can do. Right. But the idea that somebody took his money.
when he hadn't even had a sexual experience, but had probably some message in his head that the reason he hadn't had a sexual experience was the length of his penis or the girth of your penis. Or, you know, they're doing, they're enhancing length and girth these days. And I just want to say like, why go through that? Like.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (49:05.186)
that makes me really sad.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (49:07.78)
It does. It makes me sad too. And I'm a person that can, I guess, handle a lot of length and girth. I remember dating and people like, can you handle a big dick? And I was like, is that a real question? Oh, wait, I guess for some people, they can't take that. And I just happen to have a lot of depth in space, I guess. And all that said is like, my husband has a really extra normal penis. Like it's just, I think I had a friend back in Michigan that used to call it
Michelle Renee (she/her) (49:38.472)
Like, like it doesn't, it's not, that is not the quality of your sex. It's just not.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (49:45.834)
No, it's not at all. Yeah. And I think that's where things like sexual tools come in like, you know, like strap-ons. And there's different ways to have like non-penetrative penis-focused sex. Which is why I'm very grateful for you doing soft cock week. I tell all of my clients about it. So, you definitely need a month.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (50:10.344)
Yeah.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (50:14.272)
I'm really glad we haven't made an official announcement yet, but it's coming. So I'm going to say it here. But I have a director of Soft Cock Week this year starting because I'm getting like, it's fun to start stuff. And I just was running out of steam on the keeping it going and having the passion to keep infusing it with more and more energy. And I met a colleague who is just as enthusiastic about it. And her name is Erica Leroye She's a sexological body worker.
hands-on, basically hands-on sex educator out of, I think, currently Portland, but I'm not sure that it's going to stay that way. She's got the passion and she's happy to jump on and be the director. I get to stay the founder and just kind of hand off a lot of the responsibility to her and let her infuse her generation of love into it, right? Like I did it the first year. Last year was, it's all about me following my yes. And I got
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (50:53.614)
That's it.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (51:12.516)
My yes showed up around starting the podcast. So I started that for just that week. And I think she's going to carry it on so that it's a year round podcast. It's not just something that we do once in November every year. So it's, it's exciting that this conversation is going to become even more regular and normalized and the people out there that need the support will have that, that modeling happening on a regular basis.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (51:41.77)
Yeah, incredible.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (51:44.292)
exciting. Yeah. Well, anything else that is rolling around in your noggin that you would hate to not talk about while we're here?
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (51:59.274)
I would love to hear when you plan to be on the East Coast next.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (52:03.744)
Oh, that's a great question. I have to be in Washington, DC for a couple of conferences at the end of March and early April. I don't know if you have any interest in those conferences, but Psych Networker is kind of like my version of Comic-Con for therapy geeks. Clearly it's for therapists because you all need your CEs and things like that. I don't need those CEs, but I've been going to this conference since like 2019. And it is like,
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (52:10.21)
Okay.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (52:32.952)
all the big names of whatever I'm reading or what have you, they are there. And that's like mid to late March. And then I'm staying around because there is a psychoanalytic conference, I think it's called like section 39 of the APA or something, us for psychoanalytics. Their theme this year is sex, which
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (52:59.648)
Oooo
Michelle Renee (she/her) (53:02.12)
means I should be there. We put in a proposal to present as surrogate partners. It did not get picked, but we're going to, a bunch of us are going to go anyways, because even just being in those spaces is really important. And so they're close together, those two conferences. So that leaves me in DC like for like almost three weeks. But, so I haven't decided if I'm sticking to DC for the, that whole time, or if I'll do some...
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (53:14.104)
Yes.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (53:22.082)
Whoa, okay.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (53:32.525)
up the coast and see clients, right? Because it might be more fruitful if I'm gonna stay in a rented space anyways to hop up the, like go up to Philly and see my clients that were in Philly for all those years. And so yeah, maybe I could get over to the city. Yeah.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (53:48.302)
Yep. Come to New York.
Maybe we could have one more of those like little coffee dates where we can invite them.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (53:57.692)
hey, if you would help me host, like co-host with me, I would totally do that. So let's talk in, I just wanna, when I'm traveling, I just wanna make the most of it. And so like, I'm open to also clients that need to do a little bit of an intensive or something. Like there's some opportunity on the East Coast to see me. I do come back once in a while, my husband, his office is still in Maryland. And so when they fly him back for work,
If I can, I come back with him and see clients. But this is one of those like extended stay. Michelle's gonna be on the East Coast for 18 days or something like that. So we can potentially make something happen as things start to fall into place. We will keep in contact around that.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (54:41.912)
Absolutely.
Sounds good. Incredible.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (54:45.892)
Yeah, but also if you come to the West Coast, specifically San Diego, I can help you with a room. I even have an extra car that you could hop yourself around San Diego in if we couldn't hang out together the whole time.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (54:49.527)
San Diego.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (55:00.917)
much really.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (55:04.597)
I'm going to take you up on that.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (55:05.212)
Yeah, I would love to have you here. It'd be great. Introduce you to all the cool people.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (55:12.094)
Yes, there's so many cool people on the West Coast.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (55:13.457)
Yeah.
Well, and I also I host a regular happy hour for mental health and intimacy professionals. And I also do like a coffee social every once in a while for mental health and intimacy professionals, we kind of rotate back and forth between those two.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (55:29.174)
Yeah, you know, this makes me think about something I said to a friend recently was I want to be a part of an organization that isn't just therapists. I want to like work to like maybe even be led by like, like people in the sex work industry and body workers and, you know, have it be a sort of collaborative space because I find that a lot of the institutions that exist mainly cater to
like therapists or people with PhDs, and that's not where the lived experience is. And we need to infuse our work with lived experience. So.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (56:07.712)
I have to say, even though I cannot be certified by AASECT, and I don't know if I want to be certified by AASECT, they have given us a lot of space as somatic body workers to be able to educate and expand the therapy world's understanding of what we do. Because most, you guys don't come out of college with any of this information. And so.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (56:31.454)
No. Not at all.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (56:33.704)
So if you're a therapist out listening to this and you're not already connected to me, because I think that's pretty much how people find this podcast, but I'm sure at some point it will have a little bit of its own legs. There are opportunities to connect with this community, but the West Coast Intimacy Professionals and the East Coast Intimacy Professionals are two groups that Brian and I are involved with. Well, Brian and I do the East Coast, Phoenix Mandel and I do the West Coast.
But it's a group we meet every other week virtually for just peer-to-peer support around cases and ethics and all these things that affect us as touchworkers, talkworkers, educators, it brings a whole, like you just said, it brings sex workers and therapists and sexological body workers and surrogate partners and platonic cuddle professionals. Like we all get to come to the same space and
Those are opportunities and also like if you're in AASECT the special interest group that we do for somatic sexuality professionals is an option too. There's things out there popping up all the time and if you wanna know what they are, I tend to be in the middle of it. So contact me and I will direct you. If it's not something I'm running, I usually know what else is out there that I can direct people like to be the hub.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (57:55.598)
Mm-hmm. You're such a gift to us all.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (57:59.304)
Well, my brain collects resources. And the fact that I get to put them to use is like, makes me feel useful. Like it makes me feel like there's a reason my brain collects information constantly. And it's for this. So everybody has access to each other and I can connect to all the people together. So Nikita, thank you for joining me. How can the people find you?
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (58:25.966)
So I have my new website that I launched recently. It's called healing with nakita dot com so that's H-E-A-L-I-N-G-W-I-T-H-N-i-K-I-T-A DOT COM That's a great way to find me, reach out to me. And then my email, if anyone is interested in connecting, is Nikita. So that's N-I-K-I-T-A.
at Tex Gibson T-E-X, G-I-B-S-O-N dot com.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (59:01.98)
Wonderful, I'll put it in the show notes. So if you didn't write it down, you can go check the notes on this and they'll be there. Nikita, I'm so glad we connected when we did. Thank you for being an enthusiastic yes. And thank you for asking for what you want by coming on the podcast and sharing your plans and let's do it again. Let's answer some more of the sex questions again.
Nikita Fernandes (she/her) (59:29.507)
Thank you for having me, Renee.
Michelle Renee (she/her) (59:30.308)
All right. Thanks everybody. We hope to see you back here soon. Okay.
