THINGS I LOVE
Please see this list as a living document, growing as my awareness and knowledge grows.
Favorite Books:
The Art of Receiving and Giving: The Wheel of Consent by Betty Martin and Robyn Dalzen
Awareness: Conversations with the Masters by Anthony de Mello
Polysecure by Jessica Fern (I especially love chapter 9 about secure attachment to self)
The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown
What Happened To You? by Oprah Winfrey and Dr Bruce Perry – A great book on trauma
Untamed by Glennon Doyle
My go-to books on PE and ED. (Thanks, Kendra Holliday for suggesting them)
Read my entire reading list here.
Favorite Videos:
My Body - Encouraging Bodily Consent in Younger Children
Pizza Party - When your date isn’t really hearing your “no”.
A great video by Ilan Stephani talking about why creating safety in the relationship needs to come before any other steps.
Guess what, not everyone has spontaneous sexual desire! You are completely normal if you don’t just get struck by the lightening of sexual desire. Watch this video with Emily Nagoski. Check out her book Come As You Are (and the workbook).
A video from Matthias Schwenteck teaching Domain, Boundaries, Limits, from the teachings of Wheel of Consent by Betty Martin.
Favorite Tik-Toks:
Natalie who talks about marital coercion… you can also find her website at https://www.alwaysmending.com/
Surrogate Partner Therapy Links to Check Out:
I Was a 35-Year-Old Virgin: My Surrogate Partnership Experience
While not exactly SPT, I love the movie Good Luck to You, Leo Grande. Here’s a trailer and can be viewed on Hulu.
Other Resources I Frequently Recommend:
Become a better listener with this mini-class from Kassandra Brown
Dr K and Healthy Gamer GG – Dr K on faculty at Harvard in Psychiatry. His focus is the gamer world. He provides really rich mental health information. I especially love how he brings in eastern medicine into his work. I’ve personally learned a lot about meditation watching his videos on Youtube. Click here for his meditation playlist.
Asexual and Aromantic Resources shared by Ela Przybylo.
Yes/No/Maybe Sexual Inventory List from Scarleteen.
STI Risk Chart from San Francisco City Clinic
A Case of Sex Addiction? Or Something Else? - How can we help someone who acts out sexually? By not focusing too much on sex. By Marty Klein, Ph.D Part 1, Part 2
The Myth of Self-Regulation with Bonnie Badenoch on SoundCloud, but also this conversation with Jayson Gaddis (where I first encountered this idea)